I do enjoy the quotes Qendi posts on his blog... so here are some of mine:
J1: So how do I knock someone unconscious in this system?
K: You knock them on the head
J2: I walk through the town and try to get a feeling for it
K: *scribbles down a note*
J2: *reads, looks at me* That bad?
M: You chew your way through into the building, there's a woman in the office you end up in and the door is closed. No matter what you do, you'll have to roll Dexterity + Stealth!
K: No matter what? Alright, I turn into a raven, fly up blocking the window and screech at the woman *rolls dice*, I got 1 success!
Friday, 13 November 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
Adulthoodery
Growing up has always been a strange concept to me. It is a process of change, at which end we become adults. Becoming an adult has always been an important part of society, even today we have rites of passage in form of high school finals. Matura is called the Adult Test and the fuss about it is at that level. A few months later, it's forgotten so I'm always unsure why we put such a big importance on being an adult and have this strange concept of what an adult is.
When we had a party in primary school, someone spilled a drink on my food and the teacher said I shouldn't worry because it all gets mixed in my stomach anyway. I find that explanation as unreasonable today as I did then.
I still hold true to the ideologies that I had then, ignoring all those voices telling me I was too young/stupid to hold any. In essence, the only thing that changed about me is that I can express myself better and learned new social tricks. There's very little change involved in growing up, most of it is learning the ability to manoeuvre in social environments and a lot of self-discovery. Yet we have this notion of child and adult, two opposing concepts defined by visual perceptions.
We see kids play with toys, they're into games, comics, lego, transformers, anime and all that weird stuff. Seeing kids being into all that we associate it with what a child is, then our obsession with a rite of passage tells us there is a line between an adult and a child, that you can only be one or the other. We end up with situation where if you have a collection of superhero figures on a shelf in your house, you're acting childish. The only way to be an adult in that mindset is to leave those things behind and to offer yourself to work, paying bills and watching the news. It is irrelevant that having that collection doesn't immediately mean a person doesn't do any of those adult things, that the childish replaces the adult.
A child has the connotation of innocence, adult doesn't. So maybe an adult doesn't like people acting like kids because in some subconscious flare of symbolic logic, he wants to drag them into his pit of sin. On the other hand, an adult is responsible, a child isn't. We would like to deal with responsible people, who stick to their word and think before they do or say anything. Yet the world is filled with irresponsible adults who are not into childish things.
"When will you finally grow up?" becomes a strange question. It's hard to reply without seeing misguidance in it. Sure, buying a toy is expensive but I hardly have the same level of expenses as someone who spends his disposable income on alcohol and cigarettes. Is it really better to not spend anything at all and just hole yourself up in work? There's still family that you can turn to instead of work but then, family is a very childish thing. An adult can live alone but a child has real problems doing the same.
I'm going to be a child for as long as I live because I care about you, because passion should not die with age and be replaced by normality, because seeing the wonders of the world and the mind is never boring, because playing with children is more fun than drinking with adults.
Because buying a toy for half price makes me smile for weeks to come...
When we had a party in primary school, someone spilled a drink on my food and the teacher said I shouldn't worry because it all gets mixed in my stomach anyway. I find that explanation as unreasonable today as I did then.
I still hold true to the ideologies that I had then, ignoring all those voices telling me I was too young/stupid to hold any. In essence, the only thing that changed about me is that I can express myself better and learned new social tricks. There's very little change involved in growing up, most of it is learning the ability to manoeuvre in social environments and a lot of self-discovery. Yet we have this notion of child and adult, two opposing concepts defined by visual perceptions.
We see kids play with toys, they're into games, comics, lego, transformers, anime and all that weird stuff. Seeing kids being into all that we associate it with what a child is, then our obsession with a rite of passage tells us there is a line between an adult and a child, that you can only be one or the other. We end up with situation where if you have a collection of superhero figures on a shelf in your house, you're acting childish. The only way to be an adult in that mindset is to leave those things behind and to offer yourself to work, paying bills and watching the news. It is irrelevant that having that collection doesn't immediately mean a person doesn't do any of those adult things, that the childish replaces the adult.
A child has the connotation of innocence, adult doesn't. So maybe an adult doesn't like people acting like kids because in some subconscious flare of symbolic logic, he wants to drag them into his pit of sin. On the other hand, an adult is responsible, a child isn't. We would like to deal with responsible people, who stick to their word and think before they do or say anything. Yet the world is filled with irresponsible adults who are not into childish things.
"When will you finally grow up?" becomes a strange question. It's hard to reply without seeing misguidance in it. Sure, buying a toy is expensive but I hardly have the same level of expenses as someone who spends his disposable income on alcohol and cigarettes. Is it really better to not spend anything at all and just hole yourself up in work? There's still family that you can turn to instead of work but then, family is a very childish thing. An adult can live alone but a child has real problems doing the same.
I'm going to be a child for as long as I live because I care about you, because passion should not die with age and be replaced by normality, because seeing the wonders of the world and the mind is never boring, because playing with children is more fun than drinking with adults.
Because buying a toy for half price makes me smile for weeks to come...
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
It's been so long...
I haven't posted in a while... mainly because at first I didn't have what to write about... at first... then everything blew out of proportion and I didn't have time to say anything...
After all the semester ending madness subsided, with me being sick for a week at the end and running madly to catch up... by the way, it is very unpleasant to have a rather nasty fever while there's a party downstairs... then I had a week to prepare myself for a journey to Poland.
I am too lazy to check if I said anything about it already but I am not going to apologise for repeating myself (my blog, I'll do whatever I want with it!): My dad had car issues and I had to deal with an insurance company, the repairs garage and the lack of communication between them. Later on I had to deal with the rental company too... and it all lasted a month at the end of which dad got a cheque (that had problems going to its destination) and a broken car so he had to buy a new one.
We were supposed to go to Poland by car but it broke down and couldn't be repairs so I had to buy myself a plane ticket and repack everything in my possession for that trip since my landlord decided he will be painting the house. That was not a nice day to have. At least I managed to buy cool toys for my little Siths :D
and then we had one week with parents, which was okay and then a week without parents, at the end of which I went to a con in Warsaw... I'll have the report posted soon enough with some seminar reviews/reports/stuff... naturally, I spent some time with Vegael, watching films and hanging out... he can still be annoying but he got me a really cool external hard-drive full of anime so I won't stab him... for now... oh... and he was happier about getting Darkly Dreaming Dexter than I expected...
In the recent weeks I spent a lot of time with the Godmother of my oldest Sith Apprentice. She's a fun gal and we hanged out in town, the streets, the malls, the parks... we even saw Terminator Salvation together... and I cried, it was such a moving film... I'm a terrible wuss...
Last time we were out together some drunk guy wanted money from us... even though we refused, he kept following us until he grabbed her by the arm... and I had to be MANLY... apparently, my manliness causes people to give up... then we went to eat some kebab... and I had a chuckle when she ordered a kebab without kebab...
Other than that, I borrowed a book on Shamanism and Hungarians from Książnica Podlaska's director... my poetry book is starting to look like reality, finally... I will have a print run of 300 copies.
I regained the ability to use maps in my online games... which makes combat all the more enjoyable... I like it when players have to decide between a Move and a Dash, who to attack and where to place themselves from tick to tick...
I might be running yet another Exalted game though this time it will not be on RPoL and it will involve different things from player characters... seduction and torture will be a more viable part of it than in United We Stand...
First episode of mine and Daniel's podcast... where we topple how to make a campaign using one of mine as an example (Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children!)... has been recorded... four more to go and we'll be looking at releasing them to the public...
and I think that's all... I better go write some emails to people... oh... and I might put something on DeviantArt... some character fiction at least...
After all the semester ending madness subsided, with me being sick for a week at the end and running madly to catch up... by the way, it is very unpleasant to have a rather nasty fever while there's a party downstairs... then I had a week to prepare myself for a journey to Poland.
I am too lazy to check if I said anything about it already but I am not going to apologise for repeating myself (my blog, I'll do whatever I want with it!): My dad had car issues and I had to deal with an insurance company, the repairs garage and the lack of communication between them. Later on I had to deal with the rental company too... and it all lasted a month at the end of which dad got a cheque (that had problems going to its destination) and a broken car so he had to buy a new one.
We were supposed to go to Poland by car but it broke down and couldn't be repairs so I had to buy myself a plane ticket and repack everything in my possession for that trip since my landlord decided he will be painting the house. That was not a nice day to have. At least I managed to buy cool toys for my little Siths :D
and then we had one week with parents, which was okay and then a week without parents, at the end of which I went to a con in Warsaw... I'll have the report posted soon enough with some seminar reviews/reports/stuff... naturally, I spent some time with Vegael, watching films and hanging out... he can still be annoying but he got me a really cool external hard-drive full of anime so I won't stab him... for now... oh... and he was happier about getting Darkly Dreaming Dexter than I expected...
In the recent weeks I spent a lot of time with the Godmother of my oldest Sith Apprentice. She's a fun gal and we hanged out in town, the streets, the malls, the parks... we even saw Terminator Salvation together... and I cried, it was such a moving film... I'm a terrible wuss...
Last time we were out together some drunk guy wanted money from us... even though we refused, he kept following us until he grabbed her by the arm... and I had to be MANLY... apparently, my manliness causes people to give up... then we went to eat some kebab... and I had a chuckle when she ordered a kebab without kebab...
Other than that, I borrowed a book on Shamanism and Hungarians from Książnica Podlaska's director... my poetry book is starting to look like reality, finally... I will have a print run of 300 copies.
I regained the ability to use maps in my online games... which makes combat all the more enjoyable... I like it when players have to decide between a Move and a Dash, who to attack and where to place themselves from tick to tick...
I might be running yet another Exalted game though this time it will not be on RPoL and it will involve different things from player characters... seduction and torture will be a more viable part of it than in United We Stand...
First episode of mine and Daniel's podcast... where we topple how to make a campaign using one of mine as an example (Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children!)... has been recorded... four more to go and we'll be looking at releasing them to the public...
and I think that's all... I better go write some emails to people... oh... and I might put something on DeviantArt... some character fiction at least...
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
I sit here... thinking of getting tea... pondering if it's wise to have tea knowing I just brushed my teeth... is there meaning to sipping a cup of hot tea filled with sugar to keep my eyes open as I stare into the empty soul of the internet void... that black pit filled with all manner of nastiness... among them this very post...
the stars tell me to drink tea...
the dice tell me to drink tea...
your mom tells me to drink tea...
and yet... I fear to give in to Fate... as it is an evil mistress...
on the other hand... mischief is right next to angst when it comes to my personality traits...
ah, my personality traits... how I love watching them fight in a battle royale in my mindscape...
I end up having a lot of fun thoughts that way...
alas, lately I was too busy calling insurance, repair garage and car rental to get into the appropriate mindset to do anything else... my essay isn't going so well either...
maybe I finish the draft tomorrow... or maybe I won't...
I still find it hard to relax... I can't seem to get into the mindset of just letting time go by... it all has to be on schedule and according to a plan that I myself can't keep up with because my expectations towards myself are inhuman...
yes... I better get some of that tea...
the stars tell me to drink tea...
the dice tell me to drink tea...
your mom tells me to drink tea...
and yet... I fear to give in to Fate... as it is an evil mistress...
on the other hand... mischief is right next to angst when it comes to my personality traits...
ah, my personality traits... how I love watching them fight in a battle royale in my mindscape...
I end up having a lot of fun thoughts that way...
alas, lately I was too busy calling insurance, repair garage and car rental to get into the appropriate mindset to do anything else... my essay isn't going so well either...
maybe I finish the draft tomorrow... or maybe I won't...
I still find it hard to relax... I can't seem to get into the mindset of just letting time go by... it all has to be on schedule and according to a plan that I myself can't keep up with because my expectations towards myself are inhuman...
yes... I better get some of that tea...
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
I haven't made a proper entry in ages... partly because I spent the time moving posts from Livejournal to this place... and partly because I'm trying to stop posting how negative I feel about absolutely everything...
so without making this post deeply philosophical and negative, let's have a look at what's buzzing in my head
I started to regularly play on Saturdays. The games alternate between Scion run by me (The Stoicheion Pentagram) and In Nomine not run by me. Same group for both, the GM of In Nomine is a cool guy, like the rest of the group... it's a relaxing experience and it actually gives me energy to be more productive during the week... strange...
I'm writing up a play report from those Scion sessions, which goes very slowly. Especially this week when I have to deal with writing a literature review for Higher Education...
The research projects aren't going too bad, even though I keep hitting myself on the head for not making more progress than I'm doing. I keep feeling like if I were to stop being lazy, I would have it all done by now... even though the due dates are in June... but that's me being me...
United We Stand goes well. We had a rough patch earlier this month but it seems like we prevailed, once again. I'm really proud of that game... I even make a wiki for it on Obsidian Portal and put there what I had in my notes. It's not much but I hope my players will contribute, it's a wiki, right? I'm summarising the threads and building up a network for the wiki pages but it's going even slower than The Stoicheion Pentagram.
Another thing that I'm working on is making posts for Alea Iacta Est. How fast am I making them? The last post, about 700 words, I wrote up in two weeks... and I can type fast... funnily enough, since I posted a link to the Blog Carnival, my traffic went up to 21 views yesterday... I have some other posts saved in drafts, only one is finished and it's really short...
including the super secret project (which had a little setback that the Team is trying to destroy), it may seem like I am focusing too much on roleplaying related stuff... I don't think so, most of my time is still spent studying... I just don't feel any confidence in my research projects... I might be even focusing too much on one project at the expense of my other two...
My heart really isn't in studying right now. I don't know why, I never felt this down about it in my life... I'm sure I get over it, I'll read and write what I'm supposed to and get whatever grades I get... it's just the next step that's really scary...
There's a DnD 4th Edition day tomorrow at the Roleplaying Club I go to... now I'm wondering if I should go... I just don't feel like I deserve it...
Will I ever stop being this much of a workaholic? Unlikely...
Will I ever stop being such a wuss and cry-baby? Even less likely...
so without making this post deeply philosophical and negative, let's have a look at what's buzzing in my head
I started to regularly play on Saturdays. The games alternate between Scion run by me (The Stoicheion Pentagram) and In Nomine not run by me. Same group for both, the GM of In Nomine is a cool guy, like the rest of the group... it's a relaxing experience and it actually gives me energy to be more productive during the week... strange...
I'm writing up a play report from those Scion sessions, which goes very slowly. Especially this week when I have to deal with writing a literature review for Higher Education...
The research projects aren't going too bad, even though I keep hitting myself on the head for not making more progress than I'm doing. I keep feeling like if I were to stop being lazy, I would have it all done by now... even though the due dates are in June... but that's me being me...
United We Stand goes well. We had a rough patch earlier this month but it seems like we prevailed, once again. I'm really proud of that game... I even make a wiki for it on Obsidian Portal and put there what I had in my notes. It's not much but I hope my players will contribute, it's a wiki, right? I'm summarising the threads and building up a network for the wiki pages but it's going even slower than The Stoicheion Pentagram.
Another thing that I'm working on is making posts for Alea Iacta Est. How fast am I making them? The last post, about 700 words, I wrote up in two weeks... and I can type fast... funnily enough, since I posted a link to the Blog Carnival, my traffic went up to 21 views yesterday... I have some other posts saved in drafts, only one is finished and it's really short...
including the super secret project (which had a little setback that the Team is trying to destroy), it may seem like I am focusing too much on roleplaying related stuff... I don't think so, most of my time is still spent studying... I just don't feel any confidence in my research projects... I might be even focusing too much on one project at the expense of my other two...
My heart really isn't in studying right now. I don't know why, I never felt this down about it in my life... I'm sure I get over it, I'll read and write what I'm supposed to and get whatever grades I get... it's just the next step that's really scary...
There's a DnD 4th Edition day tomorrow at the Roleplaying Club I go to... now I'm wondering if I should go... I just don't feel like I deserve it...
Will I ever stop being this much of a workaholic? Unlikely...
Will I ever stop being such a wuss and cry-baby? Even less likely...
Sunday, 8 March 2009
Scion Quotes
"How big is this Tiamat?"
"Taking into account that after defeating her, Marduk split her in half and created the Earth and Sky from those two halves, I presume she's very, very big."
"Okay, the wind is so strong that it might pick you up. Roll Stamina+Fortitude to resist... okay, you're starting to float into the sandstorm."
"I grab her hand!"
"You got yourself a human balloon."
"Physics don't work like that."
"Physics doesn't apply to me because I'm Awesome!"
"But if he throws the lion at the griffin which is holding you up in the air, both Titanspawn will end up on top of you!"
"I can take it, I have fucking Endurance!"
"Taking into account that after defeating her, Marduk split her in half and created the Earth and Sky from those two halves, I presume she's very, very big."
"Okay, the wind is so strong that it might pick you up. Roll Stamina+Fortitude to resist... okay, you're starting to float into the sandstorm."
"I grab her hand!"
"You got yourself a human balloon."
"Physics don't work like that."
"Physics doesn't apply to me because I'm Awesome!"
"But if he throws the lion at the griffin which is holding you up in the air, both Titanspawn will end up on top of you!"
"I can take it, I have fucking Endurance!"
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